Scream
by Bebbe5
Summary: The toughts of Max, during the episode 45 of the third series. It's a lot autobiographical.


Betrayed.

This is the feeling that is filling my mind, while I'm running away by them.

This is the feeling that's clenching my heart, while I'm fighting the tears that are pushing for coming out.

I've cried to much and I don't want to do it again. At least not for the people who I considered friends.

Once again I deceived myself that I've found someone who'd have understood me, who'd have supported me, who'd have helped me in the worst moments, just to receive another stab.

Ah, Max, will you ever understand that people just use you?

I've already given up to search for any kind of friendship at school. People kept asking me maths homework and suggestions during the tests in exchange of some goin' out together and stuff.

Like a stupid, I trusted them every time and, every time, I found me alone in front of a cinema, waiting for my "friends" who wouldn't have come.

And, when I asked them some explanations, they would have apologized, saying that they have changed their programmes at the last minute.

In a few words, they just forgot about me.

But after I met Tyson, my hope was reborn. He had never asked me homework (except for a few times), he supported me, he always took my side.

If I didn't hear him with my very ears, I wouldn't have believed that he, with Ray, the Chief and the others, were deciding to make me change my strategy, were just saying that they didn't trust me.

Also this door seems to be closed, and I don't know when another one will open.

The day the door is closed,  
The echo's fill your soul.  
They wont say which way to go,  
Just trust your heart.  
To find what you're here for,  
Open another door.  
But I'm not sure anymore.  
It's just so hard.

They say you should trust your heart, but it's so hard when the others say that your doing everything wrong, that years of training have been useless, that you have to change, because they want it.

Why can't I be sure of myself anymore? A call-up sounds in the corridor.

It's time for me to go to the ring, where everything will be decided and, for once, the world is in my hands.

It's an enormous weight, but it didn't worry me this much, since my friends were by my side.

The voices in my head,  
Tell me they know best!  
Got me on the edge,  
they're pushin', pushin'  
they're pushin'  
I know they've got a plan,  
While the balls in my hands!  
This time its man-to-man,  
I'm droppin', fightin', inside i'm.  
Whole worlds upside down,  
It's spinning faster  
What do i do now?  
Without you

I see the world spinning around me, while in my head are resounding the voices of my team-mates. Voices that push me to do a forced choice, a choice that I'm not sure to want, about which no one asked my opinion.

I know I've never been the strongest in this sport, that I've lost many battles, that I've always needed the support of someone stronger, but that doesn't mean that I don't have to keep going my way, which I freely chose to follow. Am I wrong?

I see the light at the end of the corridor. Ok. This is it. Now it's all up to me.

I don't know, where to go, what's the right team?  
I want my own thing. So bad I'm gonna Scream!  
I can't choose, so confused! What's it all mean?  
I want my own dream. So bad I'm gonna Scream!

I don't know what to do anymore. The choices I've been taken since now, using only my head, have always worked, but now I have some doubts that are eating me inside.

Should I listen to the guys or should I do it all by myself?

Oh damn, I don't know.

I'm kickin' down the walls.  
I gotta make 'em fall!  
Just break through them all!  
I'm pushin', crashin', I'm gonna  
Fight to find myself,  
Me and no one else!  
Which way I get down, Searchin'  
Searchin', can't find a  
Road that I should take,  
I should, tomorrow left us!  
It's Like nothing works without you!

Here's Tyson, who comes to me. He murmurs some apologizing words that I barely hear. I don't want to listen to him, I don't want other voices to torment me. Anyway I raise my thumb and I smile in such a false way that I'm surprised he didn't catch it.

I turn my back to him and I climb the stairs until I arrive to the Bey-disc.

While I'm preparing my spinner I dare to look at Mystel who, totally fearless, smiles at me. Sympathy? Pity? I don't want to know.

3…2…1….LET IT RIP!!!!

Ok, the battle has begun. As previewed Mystel attacks me from many different points and for a little beat I try to avoid him, studying the situation and looking for some sort of strategy.

The Chief is shouting, together with Tyson and the others, that I've to follow their strategy. Suddenly something snaps in me.

Yeah we're cooks, running down,  
hear the crowd gettin' loud!  
I'm consumed by the sound!  
Is it hurt? Is it love?  
Can the music ever be enough?  
Gotta work it out, gotta work it out!  
You can do it!  
You can do it

If I'm here I owe it just to me. If now I'm fighting for the world, I just owe it to my dedication and to my abilities.

I smile, while my mind starts to elaborate one of those strategies I'm so famous for.

With a quick movement I'm able to amaze Mystel, the Chief, Tyson, the audience, the world.

After that I start to act, provoking the raise of my team's shouts, who's telling me to change.

But I won't listen to them, not now, nor ever.

I stopped listening to people who programme my life, who tell me what to do, who make me do the actions they want.

Enough, by now I'll do my way, because I don't want people to say that I doubt about myself.

The battle keeps going on, my team mates are giving me suggestions that my mind quickly pushes back.

It's like there's some kind of shield between me and them, which protects me by their words.

There's just a doubt in my head: are they shouting because they care about me, or because they care about the world?

Even if this last hypothesis is the most important, anger is raising inside me, giving me the strength to attack more fiercely.

The more I think about it, the more it makes me angry: why, for them, the world is always in front of me?

And so I keep attacking and defending. A brief exchange of looks between me and my opponent tells me that this is going to be the last clash.

We throw ourselves against each other, with an unbelievable might.

The giant wave, provoked by the clash, throw me and Draciel on the earth.

I lost.

So, why I don't hear my opponent's bey spinning?

I raise myself up and I see Mystel, who's hanging by a metal bar, at many feet from earth, and his bey is outside the stadium.

It's a draw! And just because I listened to my heart.

I get up and I'm a little celebrated, a little tell off by my team mates, but their judgements, their remarks, both positive and negative, slide on me.

I don't want to listen to you guys, because by now….

MAX WILL ACT IN HIS OWN WAY!!!.

THE END

Notes of the author: Ehy guys. This is my first fanfiction about Beyblade and who could be the protagonist if not my favourite, Max? I wrote this song-fic, while I was listening "Scream" by HSM3. It's a really beautiful song (but I've to say that I prefer Lucas, than Zac).

I admit that this one is really depressing, but is really autobiographical. I suffered a lot because of wrong friendships and I've often felt betrayed just like Max in the episode 45 of the third season.

I hope you liked it.

Please review and let me know what do you think about it.

Kisses

Bebbe5


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